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Nicole Fergesen

November 7, 2016

Our Weekend

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The first completed area of the house: the back en

The first completed area of the house: the back entry/mudroom... phase one at least 😆 (swipe for the before 😱👉🏼) I’m obsessed with these new chandeliers! We lightened this hallway with Sherwin Williams Alabaster (thanks for all the votes last week!). Trim is unknown, but will be repainted at some point since it’s quite dingy and leans pink. We need a new exterior door and new hardware, and maybe a runner or two in here, but this is a fantastic start! I shared a video walkthrough in my stories if you want an idea of where this is in the house and some more details about the space. http://liketk.it/36RqB #liketkit @liketoknow.it
#renovation #update #home #dreamhome #homerenovation #white #whitepaint #alabaster #mudroom #hallway #organization #sweatequity #gold #fixture #brassfixture #goldfixture #target #alabaster #sherwinwilliams @jossandmain @amazonhome @target

The biggest adventure you can take is to live the

The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.
-Oprah

Reminiscing about our honeymoon 🥰 this was our first hike up Piestewa Peak in Phoenix, AZ. I’m ready for more adventure, @dfergesen!

#adventure #travel #liveyourbestlife #makelifehappen #positivevibes #dream #dreambig #honeymoon #chapter2 #travelmore #loveafterloss #hike #nature #getoutside

January 15. Miss you every single day. Today even

January 15. Miss you every single day. Today even more, remembering the pain of that day, that moment. Wrapped in my dad’s arms, hearing those impossible words.

I miss how he would make you feel like you were the most special person in the world. Strangers would feel his instant connection. His attitude, his view on life, always positive and exuberant. He loved me fiercely. His children were his world. It’s so sad to me they won’t get the opportunity to grow up knowing him.

Words fail me today. Spending the day playing hookie and enjoying family time. Remembering this incredible man who we love so much.

Love you forever, Marcus.

#missyou #ichoosejoy #haveanamazingday #heaveniversary #youngwidow #iloveyou #deathday #rememberingday #heavengainedanangel #widow #brokenheart

When life gives you lemons (ahem... clementines),

When life gives you lemons (ahem... clementines), how do you react?
How do you keep going when life isn’t what you wanted or expected? It’s keeping hope that it will all work out for good. It’s trusting that God has a plan beyond the one you had. Bad situations don’t mean a bad life.

When things aren’t going my way, I often think:
“What am I learning here?”
“Is this something I can control or change?”
“How can good come from this?”

While not every situation has a clear or positive answer, the goal is to not get stuck in our head and the downward spiral that will destroy us. The truth is, most situations we have very little control over. BUT. We can control how we respond. And that might mean putting someone else’s needs above our own. It might mean choosing their happiness over our own. Or even though the situation seems all negative, forcing yourself to find a positive. Teaching ourselves that emotions are important, but it’s important to not let them rule us.

I’m reading Marcus’ book to the kids this week, and this quote resonated so much with me: “I believe there is a purpose in every circumstance of life, and it is my responsibility to love that purpose and engage with it- to participate in it rather than resist it- no matter what it may be. In fact, that purpose is often simply not clear in the short term, which is another way that faith holds life together. Faith understands that eventually, in time or after some time, the purpose will be clear.”

I tell my kids all the time that while we lost someone so special us, we gained understanding. Now we can help others we wouldn’t have been able to empathize with nearly as much. We can be sad and still do good.

True perspective.

Love that we are still learning from that man.

So seize the day and make some freaking lemonade!

I posted our yearly recap on the blog a few days ago. I love looking back on our year and seeing all we did, especially this whirlwind of a year!

Top is from @elegantees- go give them a follow and support and incredible mission! Everything else linked here: http://liketk.it/35RqI #liketkit @liketoknow.it #makelemonade #keepyoureyesup #positivevibes #beablessing #liftothersup

“Your dad would be so proud of you.” Thank yo

“Your dad would be so proud of you.”

Thank you to the parents who teach empathy and kindness. To connect even when they don’t completely understand or relate. Our kids wanted to share about their daddy in heaven to their classmates this week, so they chose to bring their daddy books in. (It is SO good and healthy for them to talk and share about their daddy!) Today Scarlett shared her favorite pictures and stories with her friends, and one friend uttered those words. I wish I could have had Scarlett’s expression on video when describing the kind words her friend said. She was straight up beaming, and what a beautiful thing for another 7 year old to build her up. Scarlett was vulnerable to be sharing a part of her that hurts but is so special, and to have it be received with kindness is the greatest gift that could have been given to her.

This girl has fought her way through some really hard places. She is learning how to use what she’s gone through and lost to help others. She will always wrestle with certain things, but there is one thing I am sure of:

He is proud.

Keep raising great humans, friends.

#raisinggoodhumans #positivevibes #raisingarrows #blessothers #beablessing #encouragement #liftothersup #childgrief #helpothers #makelemonade #igdaily #dailysmile

I don’t pretend to have it all figured out. Life

I don’t pretend to have it all figured out. Life is complicated, hard, and the busyness of our current season makes it hard to process all the things.
So I went back to therapy today. And it was awful. And wonderful.
Awful because my painful wounds were exposed and poked and it resurfaced so much trauma. But it was also wonderful because the simple mention of some topics cued instant emotions, reminding me that they obviously need tending to. It allowed my words and emotions to flow freely, some of which I didn’t even realize were on my mind. A neutral sounding board and safe place to help process some really hard and complicated things.

For a long time, grief and loss was all I thought or wrote about. And now that I’m remarried, I don’t want to give the illusion that all that pain and sadness disappeared. The truth is that time does heal, but the wounds will never go away. While grief isn’t always on the forefront of my mind, it is a part of who I am. I’m forever changed because of our loss. And certain dates and reminders are a jarring reminder of what we’ve lost. I’ve been mentally preparing myself for months for next week, and I’m still dreading it.

The hard parts won’t last. These things become a part of who we are, and talking about them helps us to release the control they have over us. While it hurts at first, it helps us work through processing it all and eventually the pain will subside.

Dustin and I are proactively going in a couple weeks too. Why not start our foundation off strong, especially considering the hard things we’ve encountered so far and now blending a family. Let’s normalize mental health and therapy. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. Admitting you need help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

#ichoosejoy #haveanamazingday #missyou #mentalhealthawareness #grief #griefjourney #remarriedwidow #ithurts #missyou #loveneverfades #youngwidow #griefrecovery #therapy #vulnerability #storytime #iloveyou

I never thought that I’d be so emotional about E

I never thought that I’d be so emotional about Eloise, our youngest, going to school. She’s gone to part time school for the past couple of years, but we decided it would be better for her to be enrolled full time. Since we made the decision last month I’ve been all over the place! I mean, a full day with NO kids at home? Imagine all I could accomplish! Then I’d be immediately reminded of the fact that yes, I’d have no kids at home all day. A few months from now will mark 8 years as a stay at home mom. My whole existence for as long as I can remember has revolved around these little people under foot, and now they’re to the age where they are thriving more under the care of a teacher. I was so surprised at my emotions because as each child approached school age, it felt right and I embraced them at their stage of growth. (I’m not one of those “don’t grow up” people. Or am I now...). Now that they’re all in school, it’s just so weird.
I am excited for a few hours a day to be truly productive instead of my attention always split with the demands of the kids. I’m excited to not wear all the hats at once for a minute, trying to maintain the house, teach the kids, work, help others.... And I know I will be more refreshed and engaged when they get home. But it’s still so hard!
Tell me I’m not the only one?
So excuse me while I sob into my breakfast while also being so excited how clean my house is and how much I’ve accomplished before noon 😅

Photo by @lindseynicole_photo hair by @krystle__walker #alltheemotions #wedding #ighappy #emotional #happybutsad #growingpains #blendedfamily #blendedfamilylife #momlife #sisters #siblinglove #godanswersprayer #family #instagood #beautiful #happy #sad

A year filled with so much turmoil for most, and y

A year filled with so much turmoil for most, and yet so much joy and excitement for us. So many unknowns and moments of fear and panic, and God delivered exactly what we needed at just the right time. Every time. It was such a gift to weather the storm that is 2020 with this incredible guy by my side.
I love to reflect, especially at the end of the year. And this year was an adventure, to say the least!

This year I:
Rang in the new year in Stowe with friends
Took a trip to Cali
Trained for a marathon
Met the governor
Met a boy
Got engaged
Sold two houses
Moved across the country
Organized a benefit race
Got married
Gained a daughter
Honeymooned in AZ & UT
Bought a home

We are excited to ring in the new year quietly with our family tonight. True to the rest of the year, we weren’t able to host the New Years party we were planning. But as always, it all works out the way it should. Early bedtime and more house organizing sounds just perfect ❤️

Just a reminder that God’s timing is greater than ours.
He cares for us always.
He knows the desires of our hearts.

Hold on to those highs. Live and love intensely ✌🏼❤️

Here’s to a new year and more adventures ✨

Photo by @bekahlee33
#newyear #2020 #reflections #highlights #highlightreel #igdaily #husbandandwife #ighappy #adventure #lifeisgood #happy #happynewyear #loveyou #

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