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Nicole Fergesen

April 5, 2017

Golden

I celebrated my golden birthday last month (28 on the 28th). My husband asked me my thoughts about getting older, and I have been pondering it for a bit now. While I am not afraid of aging, I am actually OK with getting older. In a culture that fears age for vain reasons, I am looking forward to who I am becoming. Not only am I getting older, but I am getting better. I am a better mom. I am a better wife. I am a better friend. I am kinder to myself. Age has a way of teaching you things, even when you aren’t realizing it, and I feel like I am becoming who I am supposed to be.

The number keeps getting higher, but it’s only a number. That old adage that says you are only as old as you feel is so true for me. I don’t feel old, nor is 28 even considered old (just depends who is looking at it).  I have made fitness a priority in my life, so my body has treated me well. While my diet may not be the best or cleanest, I am strong. I have muscles. And you know what? My thighs touch. But you know what that means? I have strong legs to bounce my kids on and run to keep up with them. Fitness is a part of my life and will be forever. I don’t want to feel old because of how my body feels. I want to feel young. I want to get older.

I want to perfect that balance of taking care of myself and taking care of others. It is a delicate combination, because if I spend too much time caring for others and forsaking my own health, that isn’t good. If I spend too much time focusing on myself then I become selfish and vain, and can’t sufficiently care for others. Does that even make any sense? That is why I work out. I run, I lift weights, and I get enough sleep, I eat and drink in moderation. So there is a balance that I am trying to figure out, but it is important. Everything I do affects my body either negatively or positively, and I am in control.

I also am learning to be kinder to myself. My body has gone through a lot in the past five years, so I should be in awe of what my body has done instead of frustrated that I still haven’t lost that last bit of belly flub. I will never be the person who is proud of my stretch marks (thanks, Levi), but I won’t obsess over them. Do I want that flat stomach? Yes. I should probably eat less ice cream. Progress over perfection. I just really like ice cream 😉

I have more wrinkles this year, but that means that I have smiled and experienced more. I want the kind of friends where your heart warms just thinking about that person. I want less relationships, and the ones I have to be more genuine. I want to surround myself with people who will inspire me, support me, and make me better. I have pulled away from those relationships that were more draining and negative because I don’t need that in my life. I would rather have a few close friends than a bunch of mediocre ones. The phase of life I am in is very busy and demanding, so I have to choose how I spend my time wisely. I don’t want to spend my time with someone who isn’t making me a better version of myself.

If I have the privilege of getting older, that means I have more time to spend with my amazing husband. And that means I have more time to practice loving him and making him happy. I was blessed to find my partner early in life, and I am so thankful for that. We are approaching ten years as a couple, which I can’t quite wrap my head around how it has been that long! Ten years with a man as awesome and selfless as him, and I am just beginning to learn how to love and appreciate him the way he deserves. I am a lucky girl, and I don’t want to take him for granted.

I am learning to care less about what people think of me. For someone who is very sensitive by nature, this has been a big one for me. I can’t control what people think. I can’t make everyone like me, nor should I try. I can’t make everyone happy. I will stand up for what is right, but I won’t go out of my way to try and help someone who doesn’t want to change. If I am doing my best and loving others, then that is where I accept reality and move on.

Growing up also means pushing myself out of my comfort zone. That’s where the growth happens! I need to think less about what others will think and more about my goals in life and what I need to do to get me there. The reality is that I am my own harshest critic, and more than likely other people may not care as much as I think they will. A big part of that is this blog and forcing myself to be in front of the camera. I am not comfortable in front of the camera, and I’m not sure I ever will be. I am learning to share my voice and ideas, as awkward as I may feel. I am proving to myself that I can do things outside my comfort zone, and that is how I can make myself better.

 

I am learning not to make excuses, but also to know when to give myself a break. It really comes down to choices and priorities. I am the kind of person that needs to be busy. I went through a phase where I had so much planned, and now looking back I don’t think it was healthy for me or the kids. While a lot of what was on the schedule was kid-centered activities and playdates, there was too much structure. I am learning to relax. I am learning to prioritize what really needs to be done. Needs come before wants. Chores come before play. As a mom I am realizing how important it is to teach these theories to my kids, and I am learning just how much my kids learn from example. That means not being on my phone all day long, checking social medias and texts. That means teaching my kids to serve others before you serve yourself. It means always using your manners, and loving someone even when they are unlovable. The value of an apology goes a long way, and I am seeing that with my kids. I mess up, and I want my kids to see that I am human and make mistakes, and can swallow my pride and apologize when I need to. That is the whole picture of Jesus, right?

I want to embrace getting older. Every year I earn means I am acquiring more wisdom, understanding, and love. Age isn’t scary. I don’t want to look back on my life and be disappointed in who I was. I want to live a life that I am proud of and appreciate who I am becoming. I want to inspire others to do the same: be a better person. I want to set those goals. To take the risk. Be diligent. Don’t make excuses for myself. I know by God’s grace I am capable of whatever I set my mind to!

 

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Hey There!

About Me
I am Nicole Fergesen, mama to four, new Iowan and part time New Hampshire girl. I believe in Jesus, live on coffee, and love functional fashion. I also dabble in home design and relentlessly find beauty in everything. Wife to Dustin, widow of Marcus, blending a family and finding grace in the journey.

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nicolefergesen

You woke up today. You, yes YOU, have a purpose. You woke up today. 
You, yes YOU, have a purpose. There’s a reason you’re here. There is a reason you have breath in your lungs and your heart continues to beat. No matter what you encounter today, know that God has a plan and you are a part of it. And when it feels hard, fight harder. Continue to discover that purpose and feel empowered in your life. Everything you need to succeed is already inside you, designed perfectly and given by God.

Keep breathing. Keep achieving that purpose. The world needs exactly who you were created to be. Believe it! 
http://liketk.it/39DMt #liketkit @liketoknow.it #keepgoing #yougotthis #keepbreathing #keepmovingforward #inspire #motivateme #godsplan #purpose #findyourpurpose #godisgood #lifejourney @elegantees
Work on the weekend surprise room makeover for E2 Work on the weekend surprise room makeover for E2 has begun! When we first got married Elliott and Eloise shared a room, but when we moved into our new house we gave Elliott her own space temporarily. Now that we are about four months out from baby, it is time to start on the nursery and get the two E’s back together! So to make the transition fun and exciting, we are surprising them for Elliott’s birthday with a whole room makeover 🤫🎉 we’re sharing the before (oh the paint 😫) and our plans in my stories if you want to follow along! Let’s see if we can pull it all off this weekend... 

#girlbedroom #sharedbedroom #surprise #bedroommakeover #homerenovation #beforeandafter #blendedfamily #homesweethome #renovation
We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s nothing more miraculous and humbling than the creation of life. It’s such a precious gift from God! I can’t believe we are almost halfway there... and we haven’t thought about a single thing to buy for the baby 😅 we need to get on that since we don’t have anything anymore! AND we find out the gender in two weeks 🎉 
I’m bad about sharing updates on my actual feed so I’m trying to get better about that 🤣 We are working on a secret super fast weekend bedroom makeover for the E2 room, so make sure you keep watch on my stories! And our bigger renovation projects start in about two weeks 😱 All the things!! 
http://liketk.it/3915D photo by @bekahlee33 #liketkit @liketoknow.it #bonusbaby #heartbeat #partyofseven #bigfamily #blendedfamily #bump #midwestliving #iowalife #baby #genderreveal #happylife #godisgood #homerenovation #renovation #home
Life's so unpredictable And things might not be go Life's so unpredictable
And things might not be goin' my way
But it's gonna be a good day
Though things are goin' sideways
I got a smile on my face
And nothing's gonna bring me down
'Cause I know
Whatever happens, He knows
He'll never leave me alone 
I'll be okay
And it's gonna be a good day

Good Day by @strivetobe 

Our new school commute party song! Let’s have an amazing day everyone! 

Shop similar outfit here: http://liketk.it/38W1F Photo by @bekahlee33  #smile #happy #goodlife #positivevibes #positivelife #itsagoodday #ighappy #getit #liketkit @liketoknow.it #carparty #godsgotthis #heisable #motivateme #midwestliving #iowalife
Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there’s no one in the world I’d rather do it with. Love you @dfergesen. 

Photo by @bekahlee33 #beautyinthechaos #embracethejourney #blended #lifeisgood #loveyou #secondchance #midwestliving #transplant #beautyforashes
When you see dad for the first time (since that mo When you see dad for the first time (since that morning) 🥰 #kidpile #handsfullheartfull
We are dedicated to raising good humans in our hou We are dedicated to raising good humans in our house. That means lots of time devoted to explaining what it means to have good character and how to be intentional with our choices and thoughts. @crafting_character was so kind of gift us the Grateful Gobbler, one of many award winning character developing systems for children. I was pleasantly surprised at the kids’ excitement and attention to the stuffed animal, book, and activity prompts. We are a few days into our activity but I can see a difference in their perception already, changing their mindset to gratefulness for even the smallest things. That makes me so proud as a mom! It’s also been a good reminder for me to slow down and look for all the blessings in our lives. Sometimes things get so fast and hard we forget how good we really have it! I encourage you to check out all the character traits at @crafting_character and begin the process of instilling solid character in your children. Check out some of our behind the scenes in my stories 😆

#craftingcharacterseries #raisinggoodhumans #characterbuilding #raisingarrows #fun #values #character #kidswithcharacter #grateful #gratefulhearts
Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be mor Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be more thankful for you, my best friend, amazing husband, and fantastic father. Love you more and more every day ❤️ 
@dfergesen
Valentine’s Day is almost here! It’s a wonderf Valentine’s Day is almost here! It’s a wonderful day to celebrate ❤️love❤️, but also a bitter reminder for those who are single. I want to encourage you to remember those who are widowed and mourning their partner, or those who are single and grieving the lack of a relationship. I wrote some ways you can make those single people feel seen and special on a day they’re probably feeling lonely and sad (check it out through the link in my profile). I challenge you to choose one or two single people in your life to bless on this holiday and fill their day with love too ❤️ http://liketk.it/389TG #liketkit @liketoknow.it #valentinesday #valentine #valentines #youngwidow #singlesday #youareloved #youarenotalone @neveralonewidows #neveralone #loveyou #grieving #griefjourney #celebratelove
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nicolefergesen

You woke up today. You, yes YOU, have a purpose. You woke up today. 
You, yes YOU, have a purpose. There’s a reason you’re here. There is a reason you have breath in your lungs and your heart continues to beat. No matter what you encounter today, know that God has a plan and you are a part of it. And when it feels hard, fight harder. Continue to discover that purpose and feel empowered in your life. Everything you need to succeed is already inside you, designed perfectly and given by God.

Keep breathing. Keep achieving that purpose. The world needs exactly who you were created to be. Believe it! 
http://liketk.it/39DMt #liketkit @liketoknow.it #keepgoing #yougotthis #keepbreathing #keepmovingforward #inspire #motivateme #godsplan #purpose #findyourpurpose #godisgood #lifejourney @elegantees
Work on the weekend surprise room makeover for E2 Work on the weekend surprise room makeover for E2 has begun! When we first got married Elliott and Eloise shared a room, but when we moved into our new house we gave Elliott her own space temporarily. Now that we are about four months out from baby, it is time to start on the nursery and get the two E’s back together! So to make the transition fun and exciting, we are surprising them for Elliott’s birthday with a whole room makeover 🤫🎉 we’re sharing the before (oh the paint 😫) and our plans in my stories if you want to follow along! Let’s see if we can pull it all off this weekend... 

#girlbedroom #sharedbedroom #surprise #bedroommakeover #homerenovation #beforeandafter #blendedfamily #homesweethome #renovation
We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s nothing more miraculous and humbling than the creation of life. It’s such a precious gift from God! I can’t believe we are almost halfway there... and we haven’t thought about a single thing to buy for the baby 😅 we need to get on that since we don’t have anything anymore! AND we find out the gender in two weeks 🎉 
I’m bad about sharing updates on my actual feed so I’m trying to get better about that 🤣 We are working on a secret super fast weekend bedroom makeover for the E2 room, so make sure you keep watch on my stories! And our bigger renovation projects start in about two weeks 😱 All the things!! 
http://liketk.it/3915D photo by @bekahlee33 #liketkit @liketoknow.it #bonusbaby #heartbeat #partyofseven #bigfamily #blendedfamily #bump #midwestliving #iowalife #baby #genderreveal #happylife #godisgood #homerenovation #renovation #home
Life's so unpredictable And things might not be go Life's so unpredictable
And things might not be goin' my way
But it's gonna be a good day
Though things are goin' sideways
I got a smile on my face
And nothing's gonna bring me down
'Cause I know
Whatever happens, He knows
He'll never leave me alone 
I'll be okay
And it's gonna be a good day

Good Day by @strivetobe 

Our new school commute party song! Let’s have an amazing day everyone! 

Shop similar outfit here: http://liketk.it/38W1F Photo by @bekahlee33  #smile #happy #goodlife #positivevibes #positivelife #itsagoodday #ighappy #getit #liketkit @liketoknow.it #carparty #godsgotthis #heisable #motivateme #midwestliving #iowalife
Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there’s no one in the world I’d rather do it with. Love you @dfergesen. 

Photo by @bekahlee33 #beautyinthechaos #embracethejourney #blended #lifeisgood #loveyou #secondchance #midwestliving #transplant #beautyforashes
When you see dad for the first time (since that mo When you see dad for the first time (since that morning) 🥰 #kidpile #handsfullheartfull
We are dedicated to raising good humans in our hou We are dedicated to raising good humans in our house. That means lots of time devoted to explaining what it means to have good character and how to be intentional with our choices and thoughts. @crafting_character was so kind of gift us the Grateful Gobbler, one of many award winning character developing systems for children. I was pleasantly surprised at the kids’ excitement and attention to the stuffed animal, book, and activity prompts. We are a few days into our activity but I can see a difference in their perception already, changing their mindset to gratefulness for even the smallest things. That makes me so proud as a mom! It’s also been a good reminder for me to slow down and look for all the blessings in our lives. Sometimes things get so fast and hard we forget how good we really have it! I encourage you to check out all the character traits at @crafting_character and begin the process of instilling solid character in your children. Check out some of our behind the scenes in my stories 😆

#craftingcharacterseries #raisinggoodhumans #characterbuilding #raisingarrows #fun #values #character #kidswithcharacter #grateful #gratefulhearts
Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be mor Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be more thankful for you, my best friend, amazing husband, and fantastic father. Love you more and more every day ❤️ 
@dfergesen
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