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Nicole Fergesen

September 12, 2019

The Darkness is Good for us.

The darkness is good for us.

As I was putting my youngest to bed tonight, she complained about how dark her room was, as she does every night. And every night I tell her how even though she may not like it, the dark environment is good for her. It is beneficial to help her brain relax and have a good night’s sleep. More scientifically, it helps the brain to produce melatonin which assists with the sleep cycle, among many other physical and emotional benefits. Light activates the brain. We are drawn to light naturally, as much as it is natural to pull away from the dark.

Meanwhile I am coaching myself while reassuring my child.

The darkness is good for us. It is good for me.

For a child, dark is just dark. You can’t see the benefit to it because you just don’t like it. You want a nightlight or closet light on to be able to see your surroundings. Because the unknown is scary, right? Fear. Fear of what we can’t see. And it is so easy for our brains, much like our children’s, to fabricate the scariest of visions when we aren’t sure what is around us. What is ahead of us. The present and future aren’t visible, and that in itself is petrifying.

What we envision is happening in the dark is usually far less scary than our reality. And a lot of times, we don’t even have anything to fear. Our imagination is taking flight, and we are allowing it.

If we didn’t have the dark, we wouldn’t appreciate the light. And limiting the dark isn’t really what is best for us. Trying to move away from the dark won’t let us learn or grow through it. We need to be present in the dark, experience the pain and discomfort, and grow from it. Choose to find a purpose in it. Press into it.

We don’t choose the dark, but we can control what happens with it.

The dark has a purpose, even if we don’t like it or want to experience it, the dark exists for a reason. We can resist it, or we can embrace it and appreciate it for what it does for us. Hold on to the dark and look forward to the light.

The dark is good for us.

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Posted In: Faith, grief, Uncategorized · Tagged: christian widow, jesus, positivity, widow, widower, young widow

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About Me
I am Nicole Fergesen, mama to six, born and raised New Englander and new Iowan. I believe in Jesus, am obsessed with my family and homemaking, and love functional fashion. I also dabble in home design and relentlessly find beauty in everything. Wife to Dustin, widow of Marcus, and working on blending a family and finding grace in the journey.
Blending a Family: The Raw Reality
Whimsical Girls Bedroom Reveal
The Man Who Came Next - Father's Day with the Second Chapter
The Remembering Room - How You Can Help Children Grieve

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