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Nicole Fergesen

January 5, 2020

Vulnerability

This year could have ruined me. It could have made me lose all hope and reason for living. It wasn’t my favorite year, if I am being completely honest. And I haven’t even shared some other tragic things that I have experienced. I know I am not the only one who has endured extreme pain this year. Life can beat you up.

You can make a choice to not let your pain rule you and took control. You decide to be proactive and take the hurt and trauma and allow it to make you better. Let it make you stronger, and allow your hurt to help others.

I learned so quickly that the more I talked about my pain, the more I felt understood. And the more understood I felt, the more empowered I became. My tears became my battle cry.

It’s a little awkward to be so vulnerable sometimes because grief is tricky and not universal. Everyone handles their grief differently and has a unique timeline. Of course, there is not end. But I can see how grief has transformed me into someone that I simply could not have been had I not experienced this year.

Survived this year.

I have learned to appreciate when someone gets handed a crappy situation and see how they’ve conquered it. I value people who won’t let hard things in life take them down, and instead use that as fuel to stand up and fight harder.

You could have given up, but instead you chose to fight.

There is magic in authenticity. You can choose to show others your wounds and allow that to unite you. Vulnerability enables true connection. It gives someone ability to say “me too.” You can have so many contradictory yet simultaneous thoughts and emotions when going through a trial. And to be able to join arms with someone who has been there gives you power.

I have learned to embrace where I am, and to not project where I am on someone else. Because it’s all OK and we are all figuring out these really hard things in life.

You are here. You are an overcomer. You can do hard, amazing, wonderful things. You have a purpose and your tears won’t be wasted. Don’t allow them to fall in silence. Share your story, the story God has gifted you with. Allow that to be the life jacket someone needs to endure their storm. Use your vulnerability, as much as it may make you uncomfortable, because it might give someone their strength.

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Posted In: Faith, grief, Uncategorized · Tagged: children, dad, death, happy, healing, health, mental health, mom, raw, sad, single mom, vulnerability, widow, widower

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Hey There!

About Me
I am Nicole Fergesen, mama to four, new Iowan and part time New Hampshire girl. I believe in Jesus, live on coffee, and love functional fashion. I also dabble in home design and relentlessly find beauty in everything. Wife to Dustin, widow of Marcus, blending a family and finding grace in the journey.
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One Year Without You

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