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Nicole Fergesen

February 15, 2019

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This spring I lost a diamond earring in what I pre

This spring I lost a diamond earring in what I presumed was the soccer field. But not just any diamond earring, part of my push present from Marcus when Levi was born. I am not a collector, but there are a few things I own that are incredibly special. I’ve feared since Marcus died that I’d lose some of those special things which hold such precious memories, so I was so disheartened the day I realized the earring was missing from my ear. I had not an ounce of hope it would ever be found.

Fast forward to last week when Eloise was helping me vacuum construction debris from the laundry room with a shop vac. She came running up to me from across the house, clutching the diamond in her hand. I was absolutely blown away! HOW could a diamond have survived major demolition for months, hundreds of contractors in and out of the house, and then survived not being inadvertently sucked up by a five year old.

It’s savoring these little mementos of our “old” life that we loved so much, while fully enjoying and loving our “new” life. They’re just material things, I know that. But to see God’s favor, a wink of Him protecting something really important to me and preserving some of the history of our family, meant a lot. I’m just baffled at how God is in the small things and knows every detail. His sovereignty. His goodness.

He’s there if you look for Him. Even in a missing earring.

#god #blessings #godwink #oldlifenewlife #pushpresent #heisgood #diamond #griefjourney #memories #love #hope #miracle #lifestory #whoiam #lifeafterloss #lifeisbeautiful

Life is short. Put others first. Say I love you.

Life is short.
Put others first.
Say I love you.
Make the move.
Be the first to apologize.
Listen to understand, not to respond.
Take the risk.
Be bold.
And above all, honor God with everything.

Life is a vapor and we do not know what tomorrow holds. Live this life with intention.

So thankful I chose you, @dfergesen. Honored to be doing life with you and I can’t wait to have your baby. Just dreaming of what she will look like 😍

http://liketk.it/3k9O4 photo by @rachelwhitephoto

#dream #dreambig #love #lifeafterloss #vision #liveabiglife #lifestory #goforit #dreamteam #griefjourney #chaptertwo #blendedfamily #godfirst #lifeisshort #lifeisbeautiful #lifeisgood

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!

Psalm 127:3-5

@dfergesen photo by @rachelwhitephoto

#family #loveyou #blendedfamily #bonusbaby #familyofseven #happy #chaptertwo #raisingarrows #psalm127 #miracles #fullhandsfullheart #bigfamily #iowalife #dreambig

I officially can’t see my feet anymore 😬 Here

I officially can’t see my feet anymore 😬 Here’s the first sneak peek of the new hardwoods 😍 I’m in LOVE! I’m also SO excited for the carpet in the nursery that should be done today, so guess who is setting everything up TONIGHT 🎉🎉🎉 (@dfergesen …). Tomorrow I’ll be 37 weeks pregnant so we are in the final stretch, and in final stretch of the renovation as well! If all stays on track, we should be done next week 🤞🏼🙌🏼

This summer has been so busy and we’ve spent most of our days outside the house to get out of the way of the contractors (and away from the noise!), so there’s not much work is happening on the blog front. I did manage to get ready two days in a row this week, so I think that’s pretty notable to document 😆
This dress has been a favorite for pregnancy, and it’s non maternity (and less than $25!). Also, shout out to the only sandals that fit me still. Birkenstocks for life! And weather cool enough this morning for a denim jacket 🙌🏼 http://liketk.it/3jOJz

How is your summer going? Are you busy or relaxing? I’m due August 6, so when do you think baby will actually come? 👶🏼

#summervibes #momlife #newfloors #homestretch #37weeks #blendedfamily #bonusbaby #finalcountdown #renovation #countdown #countdowntobaby #griefjourney #miracles #lovemylife #chaptertwo

If you would have told me five years ago that this

If you would have told me five years ago that this is how my life would look, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Honestly, if you told me two years ago I probably would have said yeah right 🤣

But sitting here this morning, reading my Bible and looking over our front yard, feeling our baby girl nearly wiggle herself out of me, it all feels right.

I share my story not to continually pull on heartstrings, but to speak a message of hope. The place you’re in, the one where it feels hard and not what you wanted and like there’s no end in sight, it isn’t the end. Life doesn’t stop there.

God does have a plan, even if it looks so different from anything you could have imagined. And when you get through your valley (because you will!), you’ll see the beauty in path you’ve trudged through so clearly. You’ll see God’s hand in it all, even if at the time you couldn’t see past your grueling circumstances and hardship.

Don’t lose hope. Keep dreaming, keep trusting.
God will take care of you.

http://liketk.it/3jBaq photo by @rachelwhitephoto #dreambig #keepmovingforward #godsplan #godstiming #lifejourney #griefjourney #beautyforashes #keepyourheadup #dream #seasonsoflife #nextchapter #purpose #storyofmylife #dontlosehope

Flashback to one year ago today when this guy aske

Flashback to one year ago today when this guy asked me to be his wife 💍 I couldn’t say yes fast enough! And one month from today our baby girl is due 🤯👶🏼 love you and our life together, @dfergesen. You ready to level up the chaos?! 😆

http://liketk.it/3j6Wf photo by @bekahlee33 #memories #oneyearago #engagement #finalcountdown #secondchapter #loveafterloss #remarriedwidow #love #loveyou #bonusbaby #blessed #godisgood #happy #almostbabytime

July means just one more month until baby! And I’m totally not stressing that the nursery still looks like this… 😅 also, fifth baby means this is the fastest pregnancy EVER. I guess that’s what happens when you are corralling four kids already while renovating basically an entire house 😆We are savoring these next five or so weeks as a family of six before our bonus little girl arrives 🥰

http://liketk.it/3iSGj
Photo by @rachelwhitephoto

#finalcountdown #babynumber5 #family #blendedfamily #remarriedwidow #lovestory #bonusbaby #love #griefjourney #embracethejourney #lifeisbeautiful

He ain't got my smile, that don't bother me a bit

He ain't got my smile, that don't bother me a bit
He's got somebody else's eyes I'm seeing myself in
I'm holding on to every moment, God knows I've missed a few
The day we met I knew I had some catching up to do

He ain't my blood, ain't got my name
But if he did, I'd feel the same
I wasn't there for his first steps
But I ain't missed a ball game yet
And that ain't ever gonna change
I could never walk away
Yeah, he's my son and that's my choice
He ain't my blood but he's my, he's my boy

It hit me like a train, the first time he called me dad
In a three stick figure crayon picture with all of us holding hands
His mama said, "I understand if it's too soon for this"
I didn't let her finish, I took it to the kitchen and I stuck it on the fridge

He ain't my blood, ain't got my name
But if he did, I'd feel the same
I wasn't there for his first steps
But I ain't missed a ball game yet
And that ain't ever gonna change
I could never walk away
Yeah, he's my son and that's my choice
He ain't my blood but he's my, he's my boy

He's Saturday morning cartoons
He's "Hey, can I sleep in your room?"
He's bigger than the plans I had
He's making me a better man

@dfergesen sent me this song last summer and it had me in instant tears. It put into words exactly how I had felt, introducing the kids to a new father figure in their lives. I was hesitant to be too heavy or presumptuous with the role that Dustin would play in the kids’ lives, but he quickly squashed any fears or nerves I had.

Losing their dad was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, but it was even more traumatic for the kids. They would grow up without a father, a man to protect them and show them what a real man should be. Dustin knew, and he wasn’t afraid to be what they were missing. It’s hard to even fully express the gratitude I have for what he has done and is in our lives, and I will always embarrass him with my thanks and respect for him.

Beauty for ashes. Blessed beyond belief.

Song is My Boy by @elvieshanemusic

http://liketk.it/3iOUX #beautyforashes #chaptertwo #bonusdad #myboy #thankful #gratitude #blessedbeyondmeasure #godisgood #widow #remarriedwidow #redemption

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