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Nicole Fergesen

February 15, 2019

One Month

It has been one month since my husband passed away. A sudden shock and blow to our family, completely turning our lives upside down. He was our rock, the captain who steered this ship, and now he is gone. We are still in shock and baffled at how we can continue on and pretend life is any semblance of normal.

Everything I have written on this blog prior to this point seems absolutely trivial. Fashion, motherhood, gift round ups, all things that in the light of my husband’s death, so small.

In light of all that, I cancelled my blog host early this week. How can I even justify paying money to write about something that was seemingly insignificant. But then God put it on my heart to write. Nothing like I have ever written or even had the boldness to share online. When someone walks through a tragedy, you have options. I can choose to wallow and turn myself into a recluse and bask in my pain. OR I can praise the One who created this universe and delight in His goodness, because, hear me, HE IS STILL GOOD. Sometimes it is like an out of body experience, saying these words. But they are coming from my soul, because my conscious mind still doesn’t quite understand it. How can God be good and I am sitting over here doubled over in emotional agony?

I don’t think I will ever understand it fully.

What I am thankful for are those who have traveled this path, or similar ones before me.

Job 2:10 says “…shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”

How can I live a life and expect no sadness? No pain or anguish? God didn’t devise this horrible plan to rip the love of my life away from me, just so I can relish in this twisted pain. BUT. But God. God ALLOWS these situations so I can draw near to Him. He allowed my husband to be taken from me at the age of 32, leaving me as a 29 year old widow with three kids, five and under. He allowed this pain in our lives so we can be helpless and lean on HIM for help.

Life isn’t fair.

But my God is good. He is faithful and has sustained us thus far. And when I don’t understand or get overwhelmed, I can lean on Him. This is too intense and painful to go on, but He is there and will sustain us.

The death of my husband has strengthened my faith. I would never have wished this reality on myself or my children, but watching God’s hand move in our lives has been nothing short of spectacular. So I choose to worship. I choose joy. I choose to praise and magnify the creator of this universe, while I am still aching and confused, because HE IS GOOD.

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Posted In: Faith, grief, Uncategorized · Tagged: Bible, God, soulmate, widow

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Hey There!

About Me
I am Nicole Fergesen, mama to four, new Iowan and part time New Hampshire girl. I believe in Jesus, live on coffee, and love functional fashion. I also dabble in home design and relentlessly find beauty in everything. Wife to Dustin, widow of Marcus, blending a family and finding grace in the journey.

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nicolefergesen

We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s nothing more miraculous and humbling than the creation of life. It’s such a precious gift from God! I can’t believe we are almost halfway there... and we haven’t thought about a single thing to buy for the baby 😅 we need to get on that since we don’t have anything anymore! AND we find out the gender in two weeks 🎉 
I’m bad about sharing updates on my actual feed so I’m trying to get better about that 🤣 We are working on a secret super fast weekend bedroom makeover for the E2 room, so make sure you keep watch on my stories! And our bigger renovation projects start in about two weeks 😱 All the things!! 
http://liketk.it/3915D photo by @bekahlee33 #liketkit @liketoknow.it #bonusbaby #heartbeat #partyofseven #bigfamily #blendedfamily #bump #midwestliving #iowalife #baby #genderreveal #happylife #godisgood #homerenovation #renovation #home
Life's so unpredictable And things might not be go Life's so unpredictable
And things might not be goin' my way
But it's gonna be a good day
Though things are goin' sideways
I got a smile on my face
And nothing's gonna bring me down
'Cause I know
Whatever happens, He knows
He'll never leave me alone 
I'll be okay
And it's gonna be a good day

Good Day by @strivetobe 

Our new school commute party song! Let’s have an amazing day everyone! 

Shop similar outfit here: http://liketk.it/38W1F Photo by @bekahlee33  #smile #happy #goodlife #positivevibes #positivelife #itsagoodday #ighappy #getit #liketkit @liketoknow.it #carparty #godsgotthis #heisable #motivateme #midwestliving #iowalife
Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there’s no one in the world I’d rather do it with. Love you @dfergesen. 

Photo by @bekahlee33 #beautyinthechaos #embracethejourney #blended #lifeisgood #loveyou #secondchance #midwestliving #transplant #beautyforashes
When you see dad for the first time (since that mo When you see dad for the first time (since that morning) 🥰 #kidpile #handsfullheartfull
We are dedicated to raising good humans in our hou We are dedicated to raising good humans in our house. That means lots of time devoted to explaining what it means to have good character and how to be intentional with our choices and thoughts. @crafting_character was so kind of gift us the Grateful Gobbler, one of many award winning character developing systems for children. I was pleasantly surprised at the kids’ excitement and attention to the stuffed animal, book, and activity prompts. We are a few days into our activity but I can see a difference in their perception already, changing their mindset to gratefulness for even the smallest things. That makes me so proud as a mom! It’s also been a good reminder for me to slow down and look for all the blessings in our lives. Sometimes things get so fast and hard we forget how good we really have it! I encourage you to check out all the character traits at @crafting_character and begin the process of instilling solid character in your children. Check out some of our behind the scenes in my stories 😆

#craftingcharacterseries #raisinggoodhumans #characterbuilding #raisingarrows #fun #values #character #kidswithcharacter #grateful #gratefulhearts
Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be mor Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be more thankful for you, my best friend, amazing husband, and fantastic father. Love you more and more every day ❤️ 
@dfergesen
Valentine’s Day is almost here! It’s a wonderf Valentine’s Day is almost here! It’s a wonderful day to celebrate ❤️love❤️, but also a bitter reminder for those who are single. I want to encourage you to remember those who are widowed and mourning their partner, or those who are single and grieving the lack of a relationship. I wrote some ways you can make those single people feel seen and special on a day they’re probably feeling lonely and sad (check it out through the link in my profile). I challenge you to choose one or two single people in your life to bless on this holiday and fill their day with love too ❤️ http://liketk.it/389TG #liketkit @liketoknow.it #valentinesday #valentine #valentines #youngwidow #singlesday #youareloved #youarenotalone @neveralonewidows #neveralone #loveyou #grieving #griefjourney #celebratelove
I’ve never done an introduction before, so I fig I’ve never done an introduction before, so I figured now was a good time with some new followers here 👋🏼 
I’m Nicole! I’m a newly remarried widow, blissfully married to my second chance, @dfergesen, mom of four (and one on the way!) and I’m a professional excited person with way too many passions. I thrive on chaos (hello five kids!) and my goal in life is to lift up and inspire others, regardless of our circumstances. We moved from New Hampshire to Iowa last summer, so life in the Midwest is new to us! This is a journal of our crazy life, love after loss, blending a family, renovating a home, sprinkle in some fashion, Jesus, child grief, and the joys of life. Talk about a clear niche, right? 😆 you can shop my fashion and home favorites here: www.liketoknow.it/nicolefergesen. I also lead a virtual Bible study, so if you’re interested in that let me know and I can give you details! 
Nice to meet you! Share a little about yourself below 👋🏼👇🏼

Shop here: http://liketk.it/374Zu 

Photo by @bekahlee33 #positivevibes #positivity #thankful #findthegood #instagood #liketkit #ootd #outfit #passionate #positivity #nicetomeetyou #momlife #momstyle #intro #midwest #midwestliving #transplant
“Every day may not be good, but there is somethi “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.” We can always find something to be thankful for, no matter our circumstances. What glimmers of hope have you found today? Share below! ✨👇🏼

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

Shop my outfit here: http://liketk.it/3755z Photo by @bekahlee33 #positivevibes #allthingsthroughchrist #thinkonthesethings #positivity #thankful #findthegood #instagood #happy #happylife #joy #gratitude #keepyoureyesup #hope #philippians #philippians48
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Year in Review - 2020
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nicolefergesen

We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s We heard the heartbeat again today 😍 there’s nothing more miraculous and humbling than the creation of life. It’s such a precious gift from God! I can’t believe we are almost halfway there... and we haven’t thought about a single thing to buy for the baby 😅 we need to get on that since we don’t have anything anymore! AND we find out the gender in two weeks 🎉 
I’m bad about sharing updates on my actual feed so I’m trying to get better about that 🤣 We are working on a secret super fast weekend bedroom makeover for the E2 room, so make sure you keep watch on my stories! And our bigger renovation projects start in about two weeks 😱 All the things!! 
http://liketk.it/3915D photo by @bekahlee33 #liketkit @liketoknow.it #bonusbaby #heartbeat #partyofseven #bigfamily #blendedfamily #bump #midwestliving #iowalife #baby #genderreveal #happylife #godisgood #homerenovation #renovation #home
Life's so unpredictable And things might not be go Life's so unpredictable
And things might not be goin' my way
But it's gonna be a good day
Though things are goin' sideways
I got a smile on my face
And nothing's gonna bring me down
'Cause I know
Whatever happens, He knows
He'll never leave me alone 
I'll be okay
And it's gonna be a good day

Good Day by @strivetobe 

Our new school commute party song! Let’s have an amazing day everyone! 

Shop similar outfit here: http://liketk.it/38W1F Photo by @bekahlee33  #smile #happy #goodlife #positivevibes #positivelife #itsagoodday #ighappy #getit #liketkit @liketoknow.it #carparty #godsgotthis #heisable #motivateme #midwestliving #iowalife
Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there Life is crazy, hard, chaotic, and messy. And there’s no one in the world I’d rather do it with. Love you @dfergesen. 

Photo by @bekahlee33 #beautyinthechaos #embracethejourney #blended #lifeisgood #loveyou #secondchance #midwestliving #transplant #beautyforashes
When you see dad for the first time (since that mo When you see dad for the first time (since that morning) 🥰 #kidpile #handsfullheartfull
We are dedicated to raising good humans in our hou We are dedicated to raising good humans in our house. That means lots of time devoted to explaining what it means to have good character and how to be intentional with our choices and thoughts. @crafting_character was so kind of gift us the Grateful Gobbler, one of many award winning character developing systems for children. I was pleasantly surprised at the kids’ excitement and attention to the stuffed animal, book, and activity prompts. We are a few days into our activity but I can see a difference in their perception already, changing their mindset to gratefulness for even the smallest things. That makes me so proud as a mom! It’s also been a good reminder for me to slow down and look for all the blessings in our lives. Sometimes things get so fast and hard we forget how good we really have it! I encourage you to check out all the character traits at @crafting_character and begin the process of instilling solid character in your children. Check out some of our behind the scenes in my stories 😆

#craftingcharacterseries #raisinggoodhumans #characterbuilding #raisingarrows #fun #values #character #kidswithcharacter #grateful #gratefulhearts
Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be mor Always and forever, Valentine. I couldn’t be more thankful for you, my best friend, amazing husband, and fantastic father. Love you more and more every day ❤️ 
@dfergesen
Valentine’s Day is almost here! It’s a wonderf Valentine’s Day is almost here! It’s a wonderful day to celebrate ❤️love❤️, but also a bitter reminder for those who are single. I want to encourage you to remember those who are widowed and mourning their partner, or those who are single and grieving the lack of a relationship. I wrote some ways you can make those single people feel seen and special on a day they’re probably feeling lonely and sad (check it out through the link in my profile). I challenge you to choose one or two single people in your life to bless on this holiday and fill their day with love too ❤️ http://liketk.it/389TG #liketkit @liketoknow.it #valentinesday #valentine #valentines #youngwidow #singlesday #youareloved #youarenotalone @neveralonewidows #neveralone #loveyou #grieving #griefjourney #celebratelove
I’ve never done an introduction before, so I fig I’ve never done an introduction before, so I figured now was a good time with some new followers here 👋🏼 
I’m Nicole! I’m a newly remarried widow, blissfully married to my second chance, @dfergesen, mom of four (and one on the way!) and I’m a professional excited person with way too many passions. I thrive on chaos (hello five kids!) and my goal in life is to lift up and inspire others, regardless of our circumstances. We moved from New Hampshire to Iowa last summer, so life in the Midwest is new to us! This is a journal of our crazy life, love after loss, blending a family, renovating a home, sprinkle in some fashion, Jesus, child grief, and the joys of life. Talk about a clear niche, right? 😆 you can shop my fashion and home favorites here: www.liketoknow.it/nicolefergesen. I also lead a virtual Bible study, so if you’re interested in that let me know and I can give you details! 
Nice to meet you! Share a little about yourself below 👋🏼👇🏼

Shop here: http://liketk.it/374Zu 

Photo by @bekahlee33 #positivevibes #positivity #thankful #findthegood #instagood #liketkit #ootd #outfit #passionate #positivity #nicetomeetyou #momlife #momstyle #intro #midwest #midwestliving #transplant
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