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Nicole Fergesen

January 12, 2020

Year In Review // Decade Recap

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A lot has changed in the past ten years, and even more this year.

Going through pictures and memories from this year has me remembering the big adventure we have lived! I love doing a year in review and am trying to get better about documenting my life and adventures here.

2010 Celebrated one year of marriage to Marcus and moved to Connecticut from Florida.

2011 Took a trip to Florida. Friends flew up for New Years and spent it in NYC.

2012 Bought our first home in North Haven, Connecticut. Took a cruise with friends.

2013 The year I became a mom. We welcomed Scarlett in April and I became a stay at home mom. Spent many days in NYC and hiking Sleeping Giant.

2014 Got my Real Estate license. Enjoyed a babymoon in Newport, RI. We welcomed Levi to our family!

2015 Traveled to Florida and Mississippi and took a road trip back home with my sister, her two dogs, and my two babies. Lindsay and her husband lived with us for the summer and it was the most fun! Also saw American Pharaoh win the Triple Crown at the Belmont Stakes. Traveled to Lake Winnipisaukee, Pennsylvania, New York, Maryland,

2016 Eloise joined our family! We listed our Connecticut home and I started blogging.

2017 We bought our home in New Hampshire. We vacationed in the Dominican Republic.

2018 Traveled a ton! Went to Nashville, Dallas, California.

2019 The year Marcus died and I became a widow. The year my children lost their daddy.

Photo by Nicole Baas

This was the hardest year of my life. I experienced the greatest tragedy but also experienced much joy and happiness.

2019 Year in Review

January: Marcus died on the 15. Funeral was on the 22.

February: We all get the flu (guess that is what you get for hugging 4,394 people!). Traveled to Lake Winnipisaukee with my best friend. Blogged for the first time in a long time.

March: Took a trip to Florida with Scarlett and my sister and stayed with Marcus’ best friend and their wife. Spent days sitting in the sun and recharging. My younger sister and her husband sold their house in Connecticut and moved in with me. My family gave me a surprise 30th birthday party! I spent a weekend with my best girlfriends on the Cape (my first time!) for my 30th birthday. My older sister surprised me by flying in from Seattle!

Lauren Daigle concert
The girls in Boston
Birthday weekend on the Cape
The whole gang in Florida after watching For King and Country perform

April: Completed my second round of Move Sweat Shred. Went skiing for the first time since I was a teen. Took a trip to Connecticut to spend a week with my best friend and her family. Wrote for Love What Matters. Celebrated Scarlett’s birthday. Marcus’ grave was installed.

Best friend family in Connecticut

May: A sweet friend of my mom’s donated a tree in Marcus’ honor that we planted in the front of the house and a bunch of friends helped do work around the house. My kids’ school donated a playplace we installed in our backyard. I wrote an article for Kidspot. Took a trip to Pennsylvania, and spent a weekend on Governor’s Island with my mom friends. Celebrated Ellie’s birthday and dedicated her at church.

Sweet friends helping work on the house. Pink tree is Marcus’ tree.
Ellie’s dedication at church
Mom friends on the way to Governor’s Island
Ellie’s first horse show
Of course randomly given number 22, Daddy’s number

June: Ran the town 5k with my siblings, the same (and only) race Marcus every did. Enjoyed a Red Sox game behind home plate with Scarlett, Levi, and my dad. We spent a fun night in Boston to celebrate my younger sister’s birthday. Celebrated our first father’s day with daddy in Heaven. Got new family pictures taken. Eloise competed at her first horse show! We spent another week in Connecticut.

Lobster Tail 5k
Family run
Gorgeous family pictures
Boston for Kelsey’s birthday

July: More beach days than we could count! Celebrated my high school best friend’s bachelorette in Portland. Car got hit and run. Friends flew us to Florida for an amazing oceanside vacation. A close friend of mine passed away. The kids spent a week at the in-laws in Pennsylvania while I went north.

Ready to get on the airplane
Portland for Lindsay’s bachelorette party

August: Spent our ten year anniversary next to some of my best friends and worshipping. Spent the mornings at the lake, evenings at Soulfest. Took the kids to Canobie Lake Park. Spent most Saturday mornings playing tennis, which I hadn’t played for years! More time at the lake. In a Heartbeat donated an AED to my kids’ school and to us. Ellie started school!

Soulfest!
Sunrise at Lake Winnipisaukee

September: Scarlett and Levi started school! Ran Scarlett to the ER…for being constipated… Celebrated Marcus’ first birthday in Heaven. Celebrated Levi’s birthday at a karate dojo. Ellie started dance class. Flew to Nashville for the young widow’s retreat. Spent a weekend at Governor’s Island with the girls.

Marcus’ birthday (we made his favorite cake, chocolate and peanut butter)
Some of the moms at the lake
How many girls can you fit in my Suburban?
New friends at the widow’s retreat at Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s house

October: I hosted our neighborhood block party. Marcus’ company organized a golf tournament in his honor. My family flew to Texas for my high school best friend’s wedding. Wrote an article for Nothing is Wasted. Met with Joe Faro (developer at Tuscan Village) to begin planning Marcus’ Memorial Race (race Facebook page here).

Texas for Lindsay’s wedding
My friend Shelly and I at the golf tournament

November: Flew to Nashville for a weekend. Bought a lakehouse with my brother in law and sister (rent it here!). Went to Equine Affaire. Saw Transiberian Orchestra, Casting Crowns/Elevation/Hillsong Worship. Spent Thanksgiving at my parents’. Wrote an article for What to Expect.

My best friend Rachel and I at Equine Affaire

December: Scarlett busted her chin sledding and had to go to the ER. Spoke at my church’s ladies Christmas program. Finished wallpapering my dining room. Went to Connecticut for a weekend. Spent Christmas at home and took the kids to the lake for a few days. Spent the last day of the year on Stowe skiing with one of my best friends.

New Years with Colleen
New Years skiing at Stowe

I am so glad I have so many memories and experiences to reflect on. This year in review helped me to process how much good is in my life and how amazing my friends and family are!

Did you enjoy this post? Make sure to join the @nicole.warner community on instagram! You can also shop my outfits here. Don’t miss out on updates and inspiration! You can also join my Facebook community or follow along with whatever is inspiring me over on my Pinterest.

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Posted In: Babies, Travel, Uncategorized · Tagged: adventure, Christian, family, God, grief, grieving, healing, husband, jesus, joy, love, marriage, mental health, reflection, single mom, widow, widower, wife, year in review

Comments

  1. Justin Haws says

    January 25, 2020 at 11:59 am

    I found this blog through your Instagram page. I luh luh love IG because it gives me a sense of comfort so I knew I’d dig this blog, although I’m new to blogs. There is a tremendous amount of beauty in this blog by way of the great friends you have. You motivate us all as you continue to show bravery and grace in times of chaos. Your smile shines bright which, to me, is the ultimate tribute you can give to someone, as you display the love you have him/them. I hope you continue to shine, love, travel, dance and laugh. Your spirit and zest to live big is infectious. Sending a hug! #22

    Reply
    • Nicole Warner says

      January 25, 2020 at 12:54 pm

      Thanks for reading and letting me share my story!

      Reply

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Hey There!

About Me
I am Nicole Fergesen, mama to four, new Iowan and part time New Hampshire girl. I believe in Jesus, live on coffee, and love functional fashion. I also dabble in home design and relentlessly find beauty in everything. Wife to Dustin, widow of Marcus, blending a family and finding grace in the journey.

I WANT IN

nicolefergesen

“How can you possibly love two men?” It’s a “How can you possibly love two men?”

It’s actually not as complicated as you’d think. You see, they are two completely different people. Our relationships are entirely unique and independent from each other. 

It’s like when you have children. When you have the first you can’t comprehend how you could possibly love another as much. And then you have another child, and you realize that it’s just a totally different love. You’d never choose one child over another. Your relationships are unique and special. 

The same with my late husband and my new husband. 

I didn’t choose for my relationship with Marcus to end. And I wouldn’t have met Dustin had I not lost him. 

I love Dustin with all of my heart. And yet, my love for Marcus hasn’t changed one bit. 

The love isn’t competitive. 
It’s deep, meaningful, and sacred. 

And I find myself just overwhelmed with thankfulness. God has been so good to me, and what a gift it is to love such wonderful men! 

If you’re in a similar position and curious how you could even consider loving someone new, there’s no harm in exploring. Our hearts are capable of so much, and we were created to love and be loved. 

And it’s a beautiful thing. ❤️

#loveafterloss #chapter2 #loveneverdies #youngwidow #lovestory #thankful #griefjourney #godisincontrol
I struggle enjoying the in between, the incomplete I struggle enjoying the in between, the incomplete phase while striving toward the goal. With patience. And with our house specifically, we bought it knowing it would need a ton of work. In the four months we’ve owned it we have made a HUGE dent in our project list, just not a lot “completed.” (And the kitchen remodel begins in just over two weeks!! 👏🏼). But good things take time, and I need to remind myself of that.
So here’s a list I created to help myself slow down and be patient with the process of making our house a home (bookmark to reference!):

•  Focus on one thing at a time. Little improvements. 
• Have an end goal in mind, but if budget or time doesn’t allow, try and complete a small area so it feels like something is being accomplished. 
• Try and reflect on what you HAVE done. While the project list seems endless, checking some things off the list will let you feel a sense of accomplishment. (ex., this room we’ve removed wallpaper, added texture, painted, removed curtains & blinds but still need new floors, art, nightstands, pillows & more). 
• More time developing a space means it will look more collected and special, rather than new and lacking character. Patience will pay off! 
• The longer we take, the more we know what we like and will work. And editing is part of that process!
• Don’t be afraid to buy the wrong thing. Design paralysis is a real thing! Buy it, try it, and if it doesn’t work, try something different. Relieve the pressure from yourself to make the perfect choice every time. Or, if you see something you like, grab measurements and “see” it in a space (see above! The painting I feel in love with is just slightly too large, but I needed a visual to confirm.)
• A house will never be truly done. It will develop over time, as needs change. So stop thinking you’ll reach a point of “done.” 

I hope this helps people who are in the same boat as me and eager to reach the finished product!
 http://liketk.it/3cTaM #LTKhome @liketoknow.it #home#progressoverperfection #onethingatatime #enjoythejourney #dreamhome #renovation #diy
ICYMI- I talked on Wednesday about an exciting new ICYMI- I talked on Wednesday about an exciting new addition to the blog- a monthly newsletter and GIVEAWAY! If you want exclusive updates (not spammy, promise!) then subscribe through the link in my profile. Maybe I’ll even share what I’m pondering about gazing across the water here 😂 I’m giving away two books to a new subscriber chosen at random, a copy of Streams in the Desert and my late husband’s book, Let the Socks Lead. Giveaway ends April 14.  http://liketk.it/3cpx2 photo by @bekahlee33  #liketkit @liketoknow.it #giveaway #subscribe #youngwidow #leadership #streamsinthedesert #ootd #spring #outfit #newsletter #midwest #midwestliving #midwestblogger #iowa #iowalife #lovemylife #dreambig #grief #homeblogger #fashionblogger #griefblogger #family #loveafterloss #alifeworthliving
So you’re pregnant! Congratulations! Pregnancy i So you’re pregnant! Congratulations! Pregnancy is magical and such a gift, but there are certain realities that come with growing a human inside you. Whether this is your first pregnancy or sixth, I have rounded up some of my pregnancy favorites, items that have gotten me through the first two trimesters comfortably! Most are non maternity (read: will last beyond pregnancy!) and won’t break the bank. Bookmark this post, then go to the blog (link in profile) to see the whole list and why I chose each item! 

Also, this target dress 👌🏼 http://liketk.it/3cnBX #liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKbump #LTKunder50 #LTKwedding #maternity #pregnancyfavorites #bump #bumpstyle #target #targetstyle #spring #springdress #pregnancybasics #firsttrimester #secondtrimester #pregnancy #bumpdate
Swipe for the before ➡️ We bought our home at Swipe for the before ➡️ We bought our home at the beginning of December and got right to work renovating the space! We started with simple but big impact projects like painting the hearth room and eat in kitchen area and removing allllll the tan (see my stories for a laugh!). We have a long way to go, but this was a fantastic start and brightened up the whole space! My wrists still haven’t recovered from all the painting I’ve done already 🤣
Color: Alabaster by @sherwinwilliams 
Photo: @alvarengaart 
Sources: http://liketk.it/3ckww #liketkit @liketoknow.it #home #homerenovation #reno #dreamhome #paint #targethome #target #alabaster #white #whitepaint #springprojects #sherwinwilliams #bestwhitepaint #bestwhite #mostpopularwhite #beforeandafter #dreamhome
1. My due date is four months from today 😱 And 1. My due date is four months from today 😱 And today I experienced my first mention of my pregnancy from a stranger 😆 This pregnancy is FLYING by! 
2. This Easter was the first in my life I’ve gotten a tan. Thanks, Iowa! 
3. I only just discovered I have seasonal allergies. Maybe they are a new thing for me, or I’ve never noticed. Dustin pointed it out and let me tell you, I’m not a big medicine person but allergy meds are AMAZING. 
4. The exterior siding of our home is getting painted this week! Check out my stories for some insanely beautiful progress 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
5. How many loads of laundry do you do a week on average? I think I am at about 12 😱 #familyofsix
That’s all my random thoughts for today 🤣
I linked my favorite pullover!  http://liketk.it/3ceiv #liketkit @liketoknow.it #random #laundry #allergyseason #pregnancy #bumpdate #tan #randommusings #adayinthelife #homerenovation #progress @abercrombie #smile #spring #momlife #happylife #iowalife
He is risen 🙌🏼 http://liketk.it/3c506 @dfe He is risen 🙌🏼 

http://liketk.it/3c506 @dfergesen #heisrisen #eastersunday #family #blendedfamily #chaptertwo
SMILE. Can you name three things that make you hap SMILE. Can you name three things that make you happy? We have so much to be grateful for. I’ll go first in the comments 👇🏼 

http://liketk.it/3bM0d photo by @rachelwhitephoto #thisisthegoodlife #dreambig #lifeisanadventure #liketkit @liketoknow.it  #outdoor #getoutside #kids #family #smile #happy #grateful
Don’t wait. Don’t wait to host until your hou Don’t wait. 
Don’t wait to host until your house is perfect.
Just open your home and be available. Be Inviting. Embracing. It will never feel like the perfect timing, like your house is not decorated well enough, or is clean enough to invite people in, but the memories made will supersede any hesitation. Love will work it all out. They’ll remember the conversation, the gesture, and the kindness of simply letting them enter through your threshold. 

Our home is still a construction zone and the amount of events in one month has been crazy (gender reveal, Elliott’s birthday, my birthday, Scarlett’s birthday, Easter, hosting friends from out of town, on top of the ongoing renovations). Instead of saying no, we are inviting friends into our home just the way it is. It’s chaotic, messy (literally sawdust on the ground for the gender reveal 🤣), and very imperfect, but that’s much like our life, right? We are constantly becoming better versions of ourselves. Sometimes we need to let others into the messy parts because we all have them. And that’s where the connection lies- the messy. Because we are all human, and there’s no point in pretending our lives are any more polished than they really are. Truth is, life is crazy and we are all doing the best we can!

I wrote a post (link in profile) all about our simple Easter dinner plans! I included recipes, shopping lists, tablescape ideas, and tips for hosting a stress free holiday. Is there someone you can invite over this Easter? Think of the people in your lives, and maybe there’s someone who doesn’t have a place to go. Show them the love of Jesus just by letting them in ❤️AND if you made it this far, I linked the new version of this blouse which is an all time favorite! http://liketk.it/3bEn3 and links to the tablescape http://liketk.it/3bD7j photo by @bekahlee33 #liketkit @liketoknow.it #dontwait #easter #justlove #loveothers #bethelove #showthemjesus #openthedoor #jesusisthereason #lovebig #love #eastermenu #tips #advice #midwestliving #iowablogger #midwest #midwestblogger
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Simple Easter Dinner - Recipes, Shopping Lists, Tablescape Ideas, & Tips for Hosting a Stress Free Holiday
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nicolefergesen

“How can you possibly love two men?” It’s a “How can you possibly love two men?”

It’s actually not as complicated as you’d think. You see, they are two completely different people. Our relationships are entirely unique and independent from each other. 

It’s like when you have children. When you have the first you can’t comprehend how you could possibly love another as much. And then you have another child, and you realize that it’s just a totally different love. You’d never choose one child over another. Your relationships are unique and special. 

The same with my late husband and my new husband. 

I didn’t choose for my relationship with Marcus to end. And I wouldn’t have met Dustin had I not lost him. 

I love Dustin with all of my heart. And yet, my love for Marcus hasn’t changed one bit. 

The love isn’t competitive. 
It’s deep, meaningful, and sacred. 

And I find myself just overwhelmed with thankfulness. God has been so good to me, and what a gift it is to love such wonderful men! 

If you’re in a similar position and curious how you could even consider loving someone new, there’s no harm in exploring. Our hearts are capable of so much, and we were created to love and be loved. 

And it’s a beautiful thing. ❤️

#loveafterloss #chapter2 #loveneverdies #youngwidow #lovestory #thankful #griefjourney #godisincontrol
I struggle enjoying the in between, the incomplete I struggle enjoying the in between, the incomplete phase while striving toward the goal. With patience. And with our house specifically, we bought it knowing it would need a ton of work. In the four months we’ve owned it we have made a HUGE dent in our project list, just not a lot “completed.” (And the kitchen remodel begins in just over two weeks!! 👏🏼). But good things take time, and I need to remind myself of that.
So here’s a list I created to help myself slow down and be patient with the process of making our house a home (bookmark to reference!):

•  Focus on one thing at a time. Little improvements. 
• Have an end goal in mind, but if budget or time doesn’t allow, try and complete a small area so it feels like something is being accomplished. 
• Try and reflect on what you HAVE done. While the project list seems endless, checking some things off the list will let you feel a sense of accomplishment. (ex., this room we’ve removed wallpaper, added texture, painted, removed curtains & blinds but still need new floors, art, nightstands, pillows & more). 
• More time developing a space means it will look more collected and special, rather than new and lacking character. Patience will pay off! 
• The longer we take, the more we know what we like and will work. And editing is part of that process!
• Don’t be afraid to buy the wrong thing. Design paralysis is a real thing! Buy it, try it, and if it doesn’t work, try something different. Relieve the pressure from yourself to make the perfect choice every time. Or, if you see something you like, grab measurements and “see” it in a space (see above! The painting I feel in love with is just slightly too large, but I needed a visual to confirm.)
• A house will never be truly done. It will develop over time, as needs change. So stop thinking you’ll reach a point of “done.” 

I hope this helps people who are in the same boat as me and eager to reach the finished product!
 http://liketk.it/3cTaM #LTKhome @liketoknow.it #home#progressoverperfection #onethingatatime #enjoythejourney #dreamhome #renovation #diy
ICYMI- I talked on Wednesday about an exciting new ICYMI- I talked on Wednesday about an exciting new addition to the blog- a monthly newsletter and GIVEAWAY! If you want exclusive updates (not spammy, promise!) then subscribe through the link in my profile. Maybe I’ll even share what I’m pondering about gazing across the water here 😂 I’m giving away two books to a new subscriber chosen at random, a copy of Streams in the Desert and my late husband’s book, Let the Socks Lead. Giveaway ends April 14.  http://liketk.it/3cpx2 photo by @bekahlee33  #liketkit @liketoknow.it #giveaway #subscribe #youngwidow #leadership #streamsinthedesert #ootd #spring #outfit #newsletter #midwest #midwestliving #midwestblogger #iowa #iowalife #lovemylife #dreambig #grief #homeblogger #fashionblogger #griefblogger #family #loveafterloss #alifeworthliving
So you’re pregnant! Congratulations! Pregnancy i So you’re pregnant! Congratulations! Pregnancy is magical and such a gift, but there are certain realities that come with growing a human inside you. Whether this is your first pregnancy or sixth, I have rounded up some of my pregnancy favorites, items that have gotten me through the first two trimesters comfortably! Most are non maternity (read: will last beyond pregnancy!) and won’t break the bank. Bookmark this post, then go to the blog (link in profile) to see the whole list and why I chose each item! 

Also, this target dress 👌🏼 http://liketk.it/3cnBX #liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKbump #LTKunder50 #LTKwedding #maternity #pregnancyfavorites #bump #bumpstyle #target #targetstyle #spring #springdress #pregnancybasics #firsttrimester #secondtrimester #pregnancy #bumpdate
Swipe for the before ➡️ We bought our home at Swipe for the before ➡️ We bought our home at the beginning of December and got right to work renovating the space! We started with simple but big impact projects like painting the hearth room and eat in kitchen area and removing allllll the tan (see my stories for a laugh!). We have a long way to go, but this was a fantastic start and brightened up the whole space! My wrists still haven’t recovered from all the painting I’ve done already 🤣
Color: Alabaster by @sherwinwilliams 
Photo: @alvarengaart 
Sources: http://liketk.it/3ckww #liketkit @liketoknow.it #home #homerenovation #reno #dreamhome #paint #targethome #target #alabaster #white #whitepaint #springprojects #sherwinwilliams #bestwhitepaint #bestwhite #mostpopularwhite #beforeandafter #dreamhome
1. My due date is four months from today 😱 And 1. My due date is four months from today 😱 And today I experienced my first mention of my pregnancy from a stranger 😆 This pregnancy is FLYING by! 
2. This Easter was the first in my life I’ve gotten a tan. Thanks, Iowa! 
3. I only just discovered I have seasonal allergies. Maybe they are a new thing for me, or I’ve never noticed. Dustin pointed it out and let me tell you, I’m not a big medicine person but allergy meds are AMAZING. 
4. The exterior siding of our home is getting painted this week! Check out my stories for some insanely beautiful progress 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
5. How many loads of laundry do you do a week on average? I think I am at about 12 😱 #familyofsix
That’s all my random thoughts for today 🤣
I linked my favorite pullover!  http://liketk.it/3ceiv #liketkit @liketoknow.it #random #laundry #allergyseason #pregnancy #bumpdate #tan #randommusings #adayinthelife #homerenovation #progress @abercrombie #smile #spring #momlife #happylife #iowalife
He is risen 🙌🏼 http://liketk.it/3c506 @dfe He is risen 🙌🏼 

http://liketk.it/3c506 @dfergesen #heisrisen #eastersunday #family #blendedfamily #chaptertwo
SMILE. Can you name three things that make you hap SMILE. Can you name three things that make you happy? We have so much to be grateful for. I’ll go first in the comments 👇🏼 

http://liketk.it/3bM0d photo by @rachelwhitephoto #thisisthegoodlife #dreambig #lifeisanadventure #liketkit @liketoknow.it  #outdoor #getoutside #kids #family #smile #happy #grateful
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